LESSON 5: YOUR SURVIVAL KIT

Speaking of fashion, A DIVA always wears over-sized sunglasses and carries an over-sized purse. It’s her trademark. A large purse is not acceptable for evening wear, however. Having a large bag with you at all times is your survival kit. Remember, a DIVA is prepared for anything! Items that are crucial to your survival are your mobile phone, a book, yes a book, to keep your hands occupied in case you have to wait somewhere so you don’t start fidgeting. Fidgeting is unacceptable. Never adjust yourself in public!! Other essentials are floss (ever see someone with spinach stuck between their teeth?), toothbrush and toothpaste, and yes, mouthwash too (garlic does not smell very good a few hours later). Speaking of dental hygiene, you NEVER pick your teeth with an audience either, that’s what the ladies room is for. Also on your list are brush, hairspray, a make-up kit for the occasional touch-up (raccoon eyes are NOT acceptable for a DIVA), a pocket mirror (preferably a magnifying one), lens cleaner and cloth for your glasses, a pen and a notebook, (you never know what you may need to jot down), hand creme, scented hand sanitizer (ever wash your hands in the ladies room with that horrible sour smelling soap they have?), deodorant, perfume, and don’t forget a small bottle of see-through nail polish in case you have to fix a runner in your pantyhose, anyway, you get the idea. Each DIVA will come to learn what’s important to her own survival. I even carry around a little hand fan, sweating is NOT very ladylike, does that make me a DIVA? Yes of course darling, that’s why you’re here. It is also very wise to keep a pair of extra shoes in your car; you never know when you’ll get your heel stuck in some cobblestones.